The Well

Writer's Block: I May Be Crazy

Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:45:27 GMT

What does this Rorschach blot look like to you?

two angels fighting over a bell

can't think.

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 13:12:42 GMT

wondering now if i have an actual physical brain disease.
can't think, can't draw, thoroughly unfocused
no patience, no foresight; performing sequential tasks is like trying to navigate a thick fog--don't see the steps in front of me
more or less given up on creating anything
head feels strained and heavy in the front, sometimes on the right side, makes me cringe

pretty much losing my mind, i think

Bitches what is up

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 22:03:43 GMT

Wat is uppppp

I haven't been keeping up with this livejournal sht

I got a facebook though and I am neglecting that too now

So apparently i hurt my back at work and in my discomfort i slept on my shoulder wrong
My back cleared up in two days but my shoulder has been in super pain for like over a week now

son of a bitch

Tuition Time. Need Money.

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:42:14 GMT

I've got a ton of fabric I picked up over the last few years for making plush toys and shit that I never got around to. Lots of alova suede and stuff like that, stretch velour, some really soft tricot, fleece, flannel, mostly in smaller quantities (yards, half yards) great for accessories or pillows. Want any of this stuff? I'll sell it to you cheap. Give me a call, yeah? Tuition's due in a day or two so I need some moneys.

Also need to sell my mazda 323. Manual transmission. White. Some body damage, but seems to run fine (better than my new car, actually...) A few hundred bucks and it's yours. Tell your friends.

Posting from my iPod

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:31:51 GMT

Blaaaaarrggh hey you guys got twitter?

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 07:05:39 GMT

If you haven't seen this yet, oh my god, make 45 minutes in your schedule and do it

DO IT

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=39531168

AHHH WTF NO

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 10:17:52 GMT

What the

The dealers' room and Artist's Alley at Anime Vegas are SOLD OUT
What the fuck
There are only SIX artist's tables
What the shit
And did I hear that admission is going UP?
What the cocking shitfucks

And I had all sorts of cool shit to bring this year too :(
Well guys, looks like I've gotta find another con if I want to sell shit this year. Preferably one that I've got a couple months to prepare for. Ideas?

the pain goes way too deep to describe

Wed, 14 May 2008 20:00:02 GMT

aaaahahahahahahaha

oh man. look. LOOK at this. (Contains avatar: the last airbender spoilers... but I'm pretty sure there's nothing that will upset you to the extent that these people are.)

http://greenifyme.deviantart.com/journal/18275637/

"My...heart stopped...I like, have nothing else to say...."
"The feeling is honestly equivalent to the death of a relative."
"My god. I think my heart just stopped. I'm gonna go away from DevArt and the fandom forever after this. I'm just gonna go and...die now."
"The pain goes way too deep to describe."

The best posts are probably by ~FoamyFanatic718, who responded to trolling with calm and rational dignity:

"You know what? Fuck you. I hope, in my heart of hearts, you get sent to a federal prison, and DROP THE FUCKING SOAP! Then, in a brutal prison riot, you get mercillously shanked by a psychopathic prisoner."
"Why...? Why? Why?! WHY?! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO RUIN A GOOD SERIES?! ... damn them... Damn Bryke to the pits of hell... may they rot for all eternity! I HOPE THEY DIE!!!"
"Oh, you want to fuck with me, bitch? bring it on you fucking douchebag! BRING. IT. ON!!!!!"
"yeah... I swear... if one, ONE, Kaatanger mocks Zutara... I'll freaking KILL THEM!!!"

To my fangirl friends: Am I being insensitive here? I mean, since when did a lack of canon prevent anyone from enjoying whatever creepy fan pairing they wanted? Were there Draco+Harry fans who got to the end of book seven and were so shocked and dismayed that the two didn't end up together that they promptly hung themselves with their stripey slytherin scarves?

Oh, internet. You bring all the funniest extremes right to my front door. I love you.

On that note, however, if there's anything to this Ema Skye + Prosecutor Gavin relationship I swear to God I'll kill every single Skyvin shipper with a fucking flail.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:59:41 GMT

omg brawl in nine days

it comes out in the middle of midterms. GOODBYE, ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT

Thinking of having a brawl party tho, after midterms.
at my shitty ghetto house, or maybe even at the MSU (might be easier, depending on their spring break hours...)
who is down with that?

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 06:34:58 GMT

All is well. It's come to my attention, on a deeper level than usual, that I know some really amazing people. The kind that encourage you to greater things than you'd ever be capable of on your own. People who care for me, and who will go to great lengths and great personal expense to avoid hurting me, even when I've done something completely deserving of it. People who will call from two states away just to remind me that I'm appreciated. These are the people that, for some cosmic reason, stay with you for life--and I hope more than anything that they will, because sometimes they're all that's keeping me alive and well.

Even though I've been rejected tonight, I've honestly never felt more loved.

[/sentimental hallmark bullshit]

I fucking suck

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 10:15:49 GMT

No, really. At everything I do, I pretty much blow. Why do I try? There are so many other people who seem to have the will, or some inherent ability, to do better. Yeah, they're usually stupid as a bag of hammers, but they're apparently a lot better at getting shit done than I am. I wish there wasn't a social standard. I wish there was no real benefit to actually succeeding at anything, because I'd clearly be a lot happier if I could spend my whole life starting shit and not finishing it.

Why do people use myspace? It looks like shit. Seriously, it looks like absolute shit. You've got to have zero sense of aesthetics to appreciate the myspace interface. And yet, everyone who's ever modified their myspace page--for instance, with music, or a snazzy background, or a new font--has only succeeded in making it look shittier. I'm serious. How is it even possible for something to be this terrible? You've got to have skill to fuck something up that badly. As much as I suck, I don't think I could create an interface which actually COULD NOT be made attractive. This is probably the most positive thought I have had about myself in the last hour or so.

What's this? I'm pouring myself a drink. Fantastic. Now I'm turning to alcohol to solve my problems. No, not really. I never drink enough to actually get drunk or anything. You'd have to weigh like 60 pounds to get drunk off of half a glass of white wine. It's almost like I just hope it will help somehow.

Well, this is what I'm like when I get depressed, guys. Mopey, ranting, and angry at everything. Right now, I'm angry at plastic. FUCK plastic.

Anyway, it looks pretty dead here, so I'll get back to pretending to make progress on my art projects. Drop me a line if you want to hear more of this for some reason.

[edit]hhahahahahaha oh fuck man
this bailey's irish cream is FIVE YEARS EXPIRED
HOLY SHIT
feeling a little better now :D hope I don't die or anything!![/edit]

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 10:16:08 GMT

SOME DO THE SWING DANCE
SOME DO THE LINE DANCE

I DO THE CAN'T DANCE.

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 06:57:14 GMT

I'm sitting here making margaritas and doing shots of baileys and cream

ALONE

STUPID WORLD, I'LL KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE BALSL

My car is messed up, so I won't do anything dumb. At least, not anything involving my car.

This year, I resolve to:

- Do one digital painting FROM LIFE (or from a good photo) ever day, even if it's SHIT, to build up my visual library
- Halfway through the year, this can be changed to "participate in conceptart.org's daily sketch challenge"
- Get a job related to my career, even if it's just sweeping floors at Cyanworlds

SAIGhasoighaoishgaoishgtiosagh
WHAT ARE YALL DOING

Oh fuck, debt

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 00:50:32 GMT

This is not good. We are not happy.

I've got a giant hospital bill from earlier in the year.
I was in a minor car accident Christmas Eve. Not sure how much that will cost me.
And now, long story short, Wells Fargo has fucked me over royally, and I owe them 650 dollars in overdraft fees.

650 dollars in FUCKING OVERDRAFT FEES.

I shouldn't have bought so many lattes. No, seriously. They charged me 34 dollars per transaction until I figured out I was overdrawn. I would've been better off withdrawing 300 dollars from an ATM, paying for my $80 worth of purchases, and just LOSING the rest.

Read all about it on my DeviantART journal. If any of you guys want any of that stuff, let me know. I'd prefer it go to someone local so I don't have to worry about shipping.

Man, I really never thought my DEBIT card would fuck me over so badly. You hear about this sort of thing happening with credit, but goddamn.

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 09:38:48 GMT

(On DeviantART)

Merry Christmas! Never portray a fluorescent light against a white background.

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 19:29:47 GMT

So... I modified my webcam to pick up light only in infrared.

(all the blue shit is trees. for some reason, my dog shows up that color, too.)

the potential applications of this are... practically none. i've heard you can use it to look through women's clothing, but i've been watching this thing for about six hours and not one naked lady has walked by. science fucks me over again.

ironically, the flourescent lights in my room emit hardly any infrared. so not only is this thing ineffective at seeing in the dark, I've made it ineffective at seeing with the lights on, too. BEHOLD, HUMAN INNOVATION!

Also outside my window. Rafters are oddly luminous gray. That criss cross pattern on the window is the shadow of some latticing outside. that shadow isn't visible to the eye. I guess my window blocks more IR than it does visible light?

That faint diagonal blue streak is a strip of film negative--the same material that I used to make the visible-light filter inside the camera.

This acrylic scarf has red and white stripes on it. It appears white in IR.

A prescription note from my doctor. What did she prescribe? Even if her script were legible, the ink is invisible here.

Human eyes appear eerily black. Is this related to the fact that the human eye doesn't pick up light in the IR spectrum? I dunno. Probably. SCIENCE!

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 00:10:34 GMT

Anyone wanna go see Across the Universe this weekend?

of course, this is on the pretense that this general malaise i'm feeling doesn't develop into a stomach flu or diabeetus or anything.

sup hos

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 00:16:29 GMT

I has a wii

post ur wii numbers so that i might harass you forever

0377 6971 8940 0199

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 06:10:33 GMT

girlfriend broke up with me

this is going to require a lot of nintendo therapy

prepare yourself, local gamestop employees. I am lonely and pathetic again. with a vengeance.

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 18:06:23 GMT

http://www.myspace.com/enjoyrefreshingtime

add me omg pls

Wed, 22 Aug 2007 00:37:53 GMT

Alrite so I haven't really posted in a while (or read in a while--there are journals that have been pushed completely off my friends page D: sorry guyz) and when I have it's just been mindless, whining self-pity, so I think I will do a positive update.

First of all, AX was fun. More people recognized my dorky cosplay than I expected. I wish I'd bought the jelly babies before I left, because more than one person asked me for one and it would've been awesome to be like WHI YES I DO HAEV JELLY BABY! I took an ungodly amount of photos, mostly of the phoenix wright gathering (I got a slightly blurry photo of adrian andrews making out with a slightly chubby franziska von karma. show u for 10bux) and Jen and Susan took me to a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show on the queen mary, which I've actually never done before. I loevd it, though I will probably loev it more when I know the participation script more thoroughly.

Anyway, obviously I got all sorts of crap, some of which is gifts that I still need to deliver (dammitttttt lisa i just missed you--I will have to dig up your MIT address so I can send you a gifts.) I also got my Maromi bag, which fills me with a euphoric sense of ignorant bliss, and some copic markers (rumored in ancient scriptures to be the markers used by Zeus himself) at a wicked discount, so I'll be able to do some fun art stuff at anime vegas.

Speaking of which, I hope I will see all of mah frinds there, especially those who I met last year and those who are coming in from other states. My booth is essentially phoenix wright themed this year, so look for the one with the big slightly creepy blue cutout creature standing beside it. I might make a "Wright & Co. Law Offices" banner, too.

I have been painting murals as a sort of a freelance summer job. This one party place in town that just opened up had me paint a whole bunch of graphics along their walls. It took me about four days, and when I finished... they found out the walls were not to code and had to be torn down, so they had me do it again. I pretty much did it for dirt cheap... but it still helped offset the fact that I haven't really worked over the summer.

Signed up for classes, finally. Advanced Litho, Art in Public Places, Conversations with Planet Earth, and (kind of a filler) voice class. Looking forward to them. Jen, you've taken voice class right? Is it easy or will it kick my ass? Input appreciated. I need a non-stressful semester. :(

Pretty much accepted that I have severe depression issues. Finally going to a doctor about it, after ten years of refusing to accept that I may need medication. If it will stop me from feeling like crap and limit my social retardation, it'll be worth it.

continuing to date that lass from the honors college. however i hate people who ramble about their relationships online (or anywhere) so that's oll i have t'say about that (one thing worth mentioning, though: she immediately recognized the banner from the seven samurai which is hanging in my window. ALRITE, GEEKY FREND GET)

Setting up a myspace soon. *white flag.*

Also thinking about getting a novelty license plate this week that says "MUDKIPS". I've just stuck a couple of mudkips stickers on my car. We'll see how they withstand the elements.

anyway, I hope you're all doing fine. Hope to talk to you all soon.

TL;DR: AX was fun, have presents for some people, come to anime vegas plz, registered for classes, i date nerds, seeing doctor so i don't kill myself, and i liek mudkips.

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 12:25:40 GMT

http://z4.invisionfree.com/ROCKMANLAND/index.php?s=09c8be4f8eaac32786c540a2d68aa78c&showtopic=86&view=getnewpost

vomiting brb

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 18:36:07 GMT

I know I complain a lot... but this has been an unusual and unpleasant day and I want to talk about it.

We have a lot of pets. For several years I've owned a yellow cockatiel named Claude Monet. We adopted him from a local girl who was going to college. We don't always have time for him, but he's intelligent and affectionate. I've just recently been actively trying to improve the way I take care of him.

My mom has also been going through her--I wish it wasn't such a true analogy--"crazy animal lady" phase lately. After bringing home the love of her life last spring--an obedient Irish setter named Annabelle--she has, in the last few months, adopted another older setter named Heidi, and she drove to california to pick up a cocker spaniel mix named Kelly, who is usually the troublemaker in this house.

Kelly's only problem is stealing things to play with. Heidi's only problem so far has been a slight neurotic episode during the fourth of july, and some housetraining problems, both of which we suspect are signs of diabetes. But she is very well behaved and gentle, especially considering her upbringing--we heard that in her younger days, she and her cousin killed a wild goat.

Anyway, today I leave the house at about 8:00am to visit starbucks, and I return with my mom at about 10:00.

The living room looked like a crime scene. Objects and chairs were knocked over. Some wooden and plastic knick knacks and a bag of rabbit bedding (we also have a rabbit) had been dragged into the middle of the room and ripped apart. Claude's cage was on the floor, and the bottom had come off it; birdseed and feathers were everywhere. After some amount of searching and wondering what had happened, we find sweet, timid Heidi in the master bedroom chewing on the bird's carcass.

I don't wholly understand what happened. I was sure the little cocker spaniel, Kelly, was responsible, and even tried to induce vomiting from her before I found Heidi. Heidi is the most mild mannered dog in the universe, and we love her. But she does have a record of destruction--she lumbered through the house on the fourth of july, knocking over things in her path, urinating on the floor and nesting inside the dryer. We suspect it was a diabetic attack brought on by the startling noises outside, but there was nothing of the sort today. It's as if she went suddenly insane.

I'm not really angry, but I acted pretty savagely towards the dog as if I was. I want her to get the idea that this is the type of behavior that, these days, gets a dog put down. Right now she's tied up outside whimpering while we sort out everything.

I'd made my peace with the bird. I was giving him attention again, and I think he was happy. The shock will hit me later, and then I'll get over it. But I'm really concerned about what we're going to do with the rabbit (who is probably writing her will on one of those little hamster blocks, after what she saw today) and with Heidi. We all love that dog, not least of all me and my mom, but this is such a weird incident. What's wrong with her, and what do we do about it? Even though she had to have knocked over the cage and we did find her with the bird, was she the one who actually did it?

I don't know. This just completely killed my drive for today. But anyway, thanks for listening to me.

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 05:28:07 GMT

motherfuckers dumped more shit on our yard. this time it's just random plastic packaging and shit swept up from their shithole of a backyard. They also parked another shopping cart across the street, most likely the vehicle they used to transport all this crap.

That police report is still in progress, but as soon as that proves ineffectual and a waste of time, I think it's time to vandalize the teenagers' car. I'm thinking pink triangles on the hood and a rainbow penis on the side with some wicked anime speed lines.

arghhhhh

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 05:31:33 GMT

Alright, now that I'm over my weekend "what the hell am i doing" crisis...

Back from Prescott. It's a really gorgeous town. Relatively cool temperatures, no obnoxious city noise, and cute little sidewalk shops and historic structures everywhere. There was a coffee shop which looked like it must have been built inside an old one bedroom house from the 1800s. There was also a bit of wildlife and some art galleries, which brings me to the next point:

The artist I went down there to meet turns out to be Bret Blevins, who was apparently pretty big in the DC/Marvel comic book industry (which I am unfortunately not that familiar with.) He looked at some of my sequential stuff and suggested I look into storyboarding--they always need new storyboard artists--and he gave me a huge stack of Draw! Magazine, which is FANTASTIC (not like the "how to draw manga/comics/butt-ugly chibi-furries" crap that has been consuming the barnes and noble art section like a cancer).
We checked out his display in a local art gallery on the way out of town. My sister picked up a couple postcard-size Nightmare Before Christmas prints he had for sale there. I wish I'd bought a copy of one of his sketchbooks. Maybe next time.

Also, some asshole has been dumping trash in our side yard. Not dumb "oh well i'll just go pick it up" trash--heavy shit. Last year they dumped a basketball hoop and an auto transmission there. Last week we found a bunch of busted up cinderblocks from some home improvement project. And then we get back from Prescott yesterday and find another shopping cart full of the same blocks across the street, presumably ready to be dumped. What the shit?
Well, long story short, using my master detective skills, knowing the direction the cart was pointing, and the fact that they left at least one distinctive white cinderblock intact in our yard (stupid fuckers) I was able to find their house. Broken down trucks and dismantled basketball hoops in the front yard and one half of a white cinderblock wall next to their driveway. Huge black family, based on the people who were outside and the teenager who sped away at about 45 mph as I watched (getting his license plate number, for sure.) We're filing a police report tomorrow, I think. Do not need this crap.

I really don't approve of racism... but you know, it's been a long time since the white LDS family next door attacked me for my wallet, stole my bike, or dumped their shit on my yard. Just saying.

Went out with this film major tonight, who helped me figure out if I could learn storyboarding or cinematography at UNLV. Turns out the answer is "not really", but at least we tried. She sure came up with a ton of well-organized information for me, considering I only called her about it this afternoon. How nice, if only slightly disturbing. Organization is strange and unusual to me.

MUST DRAW MORE NOW